Monday, April 25, 2011

MLS campaign: your most memorable goal? Charlie Davies' own story

I enjoy this favorite Goal MLS contest- you get to tell the story of a memorable goal (it can be your own, your child's, or a hero's goal).  If your story is good, they will feature it on their web site, and might also feature it on the big screen at an MLS match.

I found out about the campaign through an e-mail that  D.C. United's Charlie Davies sent out to the MLS community.  His story is pretty cool, obviously, because you can imagine his first goal for D.C. United after coming back from his car-crash injuries must have been pretty emotional.  Here is 

Hello,

 A few weeks ago I scored the two most memorable goals of my career.

Maybe they weren't the prettiest goals, maybe they weren't World Cup clinchers, but they were still huge for me. They were my first goals since coming back from an accident that had many questioning if I'd ever play again.
After sustaining major injuries, I basically had to teach my body how to walk again, and how to function.

But with each passing week, I felt my body growing stronger -- from the hospital bed to the wheelchair to the crutches, from walking to jogging to sprinting -- I kept the faith and pushed myself to the limit.

Finally, after a year and a half, I stepped on the field with D.C. United and felt that feeling that I had been longing for. It was something I'll never forget -- I had made it back.

The first goal of my comeback was on a penalty kick. After the ref blew the whistle, I looked at our captain Dax McCarty for the nod. He handed me the ball and said four words I'll never forget: "We believe in you."

The final whistle blew and I had scored two goals. I looked over at our fans and felt incredible support. I realized how far I'd come and was overwhelmed with emotion. I couldn't have imagined a better return.



Charlie Davies


I'll share my favorite goal in a future post...of course in the spirit of this being a parent's soccer blog, I already have a particular goal in mind...one that my son scored.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

What are these kids learning out there on the field, anyway???

If you work with groups of kids, whether on an athletic field or in a classroom or on some retreat in the woods, you know that enforcing structure and following a well-defined plan is important to prevent chaos and to promote self-control. But…....

I’ve also found that the greatest opportunities for personal growth often occur when adults ease back the structure of an activity enough to encourage kids to try out “big person” behaviors such as leadership, collaboration, creative problem solving, negotiation, and the mature communication of their interests.

I was a head coach of youth recreational teams for quite a few seasons, with players ranging from 5 to 9 years old. I am not coaching now, but I have stayed close to our youth soccer organization and I always like to see how different coaches, particularly with kids of 10 or 11 and younger, approach the development of their players’ character and mental abilities along with their physical abilities.  Unfortunately, not all coaches even think of anything more than the physical – as though the mind is simply there to execute the instructions given to perform the physical tasks.  But I found that when trying to cultivate enjoyment and even passion for the sport with young kids, they needed times when I could drop my guard a bit and allow them to take leadership initiative, speak their mind without fear, or come up with ideas in practice and have me listen.

I was very structured with my practice plans – I laid out activities for each twice a week, 75 minute practice using 5, 10 and 15 minutes blocks of time.  I had certain skills that I focused on in each session, often based on what I observed in the prior Saturday’s game.  Where I was unconventional was that I learned to build flexibility into that plan to adapt the activities based on the mood and energy level of the players.  Another important skill I learned was to look for that player or players each week who were having a bad day, were tired, or not feeling confident.

The teams I coached were prior to the kids splitting of into “select” and “recreational” paths – just one big pool at the younger ages.  Each season, with an average roster size of 10 players, I would have at least 2 kids who had never played on a soccer team before.

There were many lessons I learned in how to structure activities for a team with such a wide range of skills, keeping the better players challenged and keeping the inexperienced players engaged and improving.  But that is not what I am writing about in this piece.  I am writing about how to help the young player to want to come to practice, to enjoy being part of a team, and to feel valued.  I found that without that, all my grand designs for drills and skills were worthless.

You see, we parents and adults who coach, teach, or volunteer with kids too often don’t see that there are important things going on that are separate from accomplishing a present task.  With the coaching, I realized that I wasn’t there to create the next soccer star or even to win games so the parents could brag about it at the office.  No, with kids 10 and under, I was there to help them develop a love for the sport (or the band, or the theatre, or community work in the scouts – substitute whatever YOU do to help kids grow).  Rigidly focusing on improving their skills would be like arranging deck chairs on the Titanic.  My practices might seem organized, but half the kids would drop out before the next season.

I don’t want that.  I want the kid who Charlie Browns himself on the ground 50% of the time when he tries to kick it to be psyched at the end of the season because he’s now at 40%.  And he or she will get there because something clicked and the challenge became fun.  THE PLAYER decided to own it, to take ownership of his or her own improvement.  That happens most often when they get a little space to make it fun to own it.

“Coach, I hate that drill, let’s do that other one”  or, “why do we only get to scrimmage at the END of practice.”  

(Lightbulb – yeah, why do I always make them eat their brussel sprouts first at practice?).  Sometimes I just listened to their feedback but acted deaf.  Other times I realized the player had a point:  the team would really enjoy some other drill, so I would tell him, “good idea, let’s do it.”  

When kids play they are trying on new roles and practicing new behaviors that through mistakes and successes will become who they are as adults.  When I didn’t allow that “structured play” the result was that I saw kids at my practice with slumped shoulders or arguing or picking on each other.  I knew that I had been the architect of that practice house of boredom and frustration, and that I would need to tear it down and build a new one, a “fun-house” if I wanted the boys to get the spark back.

Adults, I know, Sometimes it sounds like whining or complaining, and maybe it is.  But it is also just an inexperienced and maybe even impulsive expression by a child of qualities that we want them to be good at:  self-confidence, the courage and ability to communicate what they want, and leadership among their peers.  If they can negotiate with me respectfully and creatively to get more scrimmage time, I’m going to reward that, because they are practicing maturity by rejecting my practice plan in a mature way.

An amazing number of parents would say to me things like, “this is the first season he’s really wanted to go to practice and games,” or “we were thinking of dropping soccer, he didn’t think he was any good, but now, even though he struggles with the skills he thinks he can do it and is enjoying that.”

There’s nothing better for me than that as a coach:  winning a tournament doesn’t even come close.